🗂️ EXTRAS — FUN STUFF — HIDDEN THINGS
Additional features of the Suck IT Consulting web experience. Dwayne did not approve all of these. Brenda approved some of them. Gary doesn't know this page exists.
🤣 INTERACTIVE
VIRUS DEFENDER 2003
River Raid style shooter. Defend against named malware. Dwayne sends invoice if you lose.
GAMEWheel of IT Problems
Spin the wheel. Discover your IT problem. Receive instant invoice from Dwayne.
INTERACTIVEOn Hold Simulator
Experience being on hold with Suck IT. Wait time goes up. Dwayne picks up occasionally.
AUDIOOOO Generator
Generate Dwayne's Out of Office reply. Something about Staples. Or a parking lot.
GENERATORWindows XP Desktop
Suck IT's desktop environment. Simulated. Dwayne's wallpaper is a spreadsheet.
SIMULATION💬 COMMUNICATION
IM Dwayne (AIM)
Chat with DwayneK_IT on AIM. It is 2002. He is probably at Staples.
AI-POWEREDFax Machine
Fax your message to Dwayne. His machine mangles the reply. An invoice is included.
AI-POWERED🕵️ THE DAVE SITUATION
The Dave Files
Classified internal documents regarding the Events of June 2001. Heavily redacted.
CLASSIFIEDSign the NDA
Read and sign Dwayne's Non-Disclosure Agreement. Reveals one more redacted document.
LEGAL (SORT OF)📡 MONITORING
Server Room Webcam
Live feed of the server room. Cat on UPS. Dave's box in corner. Dwayne's lunch on rack.
LIVEStatus Dashboard
All systems down since 2007. Dwayne monitors personally at 11:58 PM nightly.
📬 DWAYNE'S CORNER
Complaint Box
Submit a formal complaint. Dwayne responds with an invoice for his time reading it.
AI-POWEREDEmployee of the Month
Always Dwayne. New reason every month. Full voting history. Dave's June 2002 award rescinded.
ONGOINGDwayne's Inbox
Read-only access to Dwayne's Outlook 2000. Gary wants rent. Dave emailed again.
Dwayne's Blog
IT tips from Dwayne. Updated monthly (when not forgotten). 8 posts since 2001.
Submit a Ticket
Real AI-powered helpdesk. Dwayne (AI) diagnoses and invoices you immediately.
AI-POWEREDMore features coming eventually. Dwayne is working on it. He has been working on it since 2002.