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SUCK IT CONSULTING
⚙️ MANAGED SERVICES | CONSULTING | SUPPORT | INVOICING™
“We're On It. Eventually.”™ — Est. 1999 (27years of barely adequate service) | Suite 2B, Above Gary's Dry Cleaning | Paramus, NJ 07652
Visitors since 2001:
0069420
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★ CURRENT QUEUE: 847TICKETS ★     ⚠️ ALL SERVERS: DOWN (unrelated)    Dwayne is ON LUNCH (11:30–3 PM)    ★ Average response time: 4–6 business weeks ★     🖨️ PRINTER SUPPORT: $350/hr, 2hr minimum     ★ Please do not ask about Dave ★     ⚠️ MCSE CERTIFIED* (*6 of 7 modules)    
Home › Help Desk
📋 SUBMIT A SUPPORT TICKET
📝 New Ticket — Suck IT Consulting Help Desk System v1.0All tickets reviewed by Dwayne personally
ℹ️ Before submitting: Have you tried turning it off and on again? ($150 if we have to do this for you.) If yes, proceed below. If no, please try that first and then come back if it doesn't work.
Critical = $200/hr emergency surcharge. Dwayne may still be at lunch.
⚠️ Important Disclaimer
By submitting this ticket you agree that: (1) All invoices are final, (2) Dwayne will respond when he gets around to it, (3) The "Dwayne Processing Fee" of $2.00 applies to all tickets regardless of outcome, (4) We cannot guarantee the backup exists, (5) Dave does not work here and we cannot reach him, (6) If your name is Kyle please call us directly.
📊 Current Helpdesk Status
Response Time: 4–6 business weeks
Dwayne Status: On Lunch (11:30–3)
Queue Position: After the 847 others
Brenda: Available, $14/hr
Dave: Not here. Stop asking.
Servers: DOWNFax: UPEmail: DOWNDwayne: LUNCHHold Music: PLAYINGSKIT-HDS v1.0 Beta © 2026 Suck IT Consulting
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