📧 CONTACT SUCK IT CONSULTING 📧
We would love to hear from you!! Please use the form below or any of our contact methods listed on the right. Please note that response times vary. Our current average email response time is 11 business days. Phone calls go to voicemail after 2 rings but Dwayne checks voicemail every Friday (sometimes).
⚠️ IMPORTANT: If this is an emergency (server down, complete data loss, building on fire), please call our EMERGENCY LINE at 1-800-SUCK-IT and press 1 for emergency. Emergency rates are $500/hr with a 3-hour minimum. Nights and weekends are $750/hr. If the building is actually on fire please call 911 first and us second.
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Directions from Route 17:
Take Route 17 North. Pass Ikea. Pass the other Ikea. Turn right at the gas station (not the first one, the second one). We are in the strip mall on the left. There is no sign yet — look for Gary's Dry Cleaning and go upstairs. If you smell lavender and fabric softener you are in the right place.
⚠️ Do NOT park in Gary's spots. He will have you towed. He did it to a client in 2002. They were not happy.
Take Route 17 North. Pass Ikea. Pass the other Ikea. Turn right at the gas station (not the first one, the second one). We are in the strip mall on the left. There is no sign yet — look for Gary's Dry Cleaning and go upstairs. If you smell lavender and fabric softener you are in the right place.
⚠️ Do NOT park in Gary's spots. He will have you towed. He did it to a client in 2002. They were not happy.
📞 DWAYNE'S VOICEMAIL GREETING
Press play to hear Dwayne's actual voicemail. He recorded this himself. Brenda helped with the script. He ignored her suggestions.
▌ READY — PRESS PLAY TO LISTEN
Duration: 0:47 | Format: WAV (simulated) | Quality: Adequate
⚠️ Listening to this voicemail incurs a $75 Inbound Communication Processing Fee. You have already been billed.
🤝 PREFER A FREE CONSULTATION?
Schedule a free 15-minute consultation* with Dwayne to discuss your IT needs!!
*Consultation is free. Travel to your location is $75. Parking not included. If consultation runs over 15 minutes, standard rates apply ($350/hr pro-rated to the minute). Dwayne will make it run over 15 minutes.