📅 Posted: March 3, 2001 |
📁 Servers, Tips & Tricks, Things You Should Definitely Buy From Us |
💬 19 Comments
TOP 5 SIGNS YOU NEED A NEW SERVER
(You Definitely Do. We Checked.)
🧔
By: Dwayne Krupczak, Senior IT Technician & Blog Manager
MCSE* | CompTIA A+ (in progress) | Webmaster | Server Enthusiast
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Hello everyone and welcome back to the Official Suck IT Consulting Blog!! This is my SECOND BLOG POST and I am getting better at this. Last time I had 2 comments, this time I am hoping for at least 5. Please comment.
Today we are talking about SERVERS. Specifically, how to know when your server is dying and needs to be replaced. I have assessed hundreds of servers in the Paramus area and I can tell you from experience: most of them need to be replaced. Possibly including yours.
💡 DISCLAIMER FROM DWAYNE: We sell servers. This post is entirely objective and not related to the fact that we have four servers in the back of the office that we need to move before Gary's lease inspection in April.
🖥️ THE DEFINITIVE LIST 🖥️
1.
It makes a grinding noise.
Any grinding is bad. A server should not grind. If you hold your ear up to it and it sounds like someone dropped a fork into a blender, your server's hard drive is failing. You have approximately 2–6 weeks before everything on it is gone forever. We offer emergency data assessment for $799. Please call now. Or wait. But don't wait long.
Any grinding is bad. A server should not grind. If you hold your ear up to it and it sounds like someone dropped a fork into a blender, your server's hard drive is failing. You have approximately 2–6 weeks before everything on it is gone forever. We offer emergency data assessment for $799. Please call now. Or wait. But don't wait long.
2.
It smells like burning.
Servers should smell like: dust, mild plastic, and nothing else. If yours smells like a toaster oven or a campfire or that one drawer in your kitchen where you keep batteries, something is wrong. We have had three clients this year call us because their server was producing visible smoke. Two of them waited until after the weekend to call. We cannot stress this enough: if your server is smoking, call us on a weekday so we can charge regular rates instead of emergency rates. Actually call us immediately. We need the money.
Servers should smell like: dust, mild plastic, and nothing else. If yours smells like a toaster oven or a campfire or that one drawer in your kitchen where you keep batteries, something is wrong. We have had three clients this year call us because their server was producing visible smoke. Two of them waited until after the weekend to call. We cannot stress this enough: if your server is smoking, call us on a weekday so we can charge regular rates instead of emergency rates. Actually call us immediately. We need the money.
3.
It is running Windows NT 4.0.
Windows NT 4.0 reached end of life in December 2000. We are now in 2001. If your server is still running NT 4.0, it has not been updated in at minimum 14 months, possibly since 1996. This is like driving a car with no brakes because "it mostly stops eventually." We can migrate you to Windows 2000 Server starting at $1,200 plus hardware plus travel fee plus a "complexity assessment" which we charge if anything is more complicated than we expected, which it always is.
Windows NT 4.0 reached end of life in December 2000. We are now in 2001. If your server is still running NT 4.0, it has not been updated in at minimum 14 months, possibly since 1996. This is like driving a car with no brakes because "it mostly stops eventually." We can migrate you to Windows 2000 Server starting at $1,200 plus hardware plus travel fee plus a "complexity assessment" which we charge if anything is more complicated than we expected, which it always is.
4.
The blue screen appears more than the regular screen.
A Blue Screen of Death once every few months is normal. Once a week is a problem. Once a day is a crisis. If your server reboots itself more often than you reboot it on purpose, something is catastrophically wrong with either the hardware or the software or, most likely, both. We call this a "cascading infrastructure failure" on our invoices. The invoice for diagnosing this is $450. The invoice for fixing it is separate and will surprise you.
A Blue Screen of Death once every few months is normal. Once a week is a problem. Once a day is a crisis. If your server reboots itself more often than you reboot it on purpose, something is catastrophically wrong with either the hardware or the software or, most likely, both. We call this a "cascading infrastructure failure" on our invoices. The invoice for diagnosing this is $450. The invoice for fixing it is separate and will surprise you.
5.
Nobody has touched it in two years and you assumed it was fine.
We have a client in Hackensack who did not touch their server for 26 months because "it was in the closet and seemed quiet." We opened the closet. The server was running. It had 847 unread error logs. The fan was clogged with what appeared to be a family of dust bunnies and one pen cap. It was technically still serving files. But at what cost. We assessed the situation for $350, fixed nothing, and recommended a new server. They bought one from us. It is now also in the closet.
We have a client in Hackensack who did not touch their server for 26 months because "it was in the closet and seemed quiet." We opened the closet. The server was running. It had 847 unread error logs. The fan was clogged with what appeared to be a family of dust bunnies and one pen cap. It was technically still serving files. But at what cost. We assessed the situation for $350, fixed nothing, and recommended a new server. They bought one from us. It is now also in the closet.
⚠️ IMPORTANT: If you have 3 or more of these signs, your server is in critical condition. If you have all 5, please call us before reading the rest of this post. Also check if your server room has adequate fire suppression. We offer Fire Suppression Readiness Assessments for $275. We are not certified in fire suppression. We will look at the ceiling and write a report.
We sell replacement servers starting at $2,400 (plus installation, plus data migration, plus a 20% "new hardware complexity surcharge"). We currently have four units available for immediate pickup from our office in Suite 2B. Please call ahead. Also please bring your own cart.
🏷️ TAGS:
serverhardwareWindows NTblue screengrinding noiseplease buy a new oneParamus NJIT supportfire
👤 ABOUT THE AUTHOR
🧔
Dwayne Krupczak is the Senior IT Technician, Head Blogger, and Webmaster at Suck IT Consulting. He has assessed over 200 servers in the greater Paramus area and replaced approximately 60 of them, most of which he sold himself.
*Certification pending. He passed 6 of 7 modules. The 7th one is "hard."
*Certification pending. He passed 6 of 7 modules. The 7th one is "hard."
💬 19 COMMENTS
🧑 ServerMike_NJ
March 3, 2001 at 3:47 PM
my server smells like burnt toast every morning. I assumed that was normal. Is that normal.
[ Reply | Report ]
March 5, 2001 at 9:22 AM
Mike that is not normal at all. That is Sign #2. Please call us IMMEDIATELY. We have a Tuesday morning slot available. Emergency server assessment is $499 plus travel. Please have a check made out to Dwayne Krupczak. Do you also have any of the other signs?
[ Reply | Report ]
March 5, 2001 at 11:08 AM
I re-read the list. I have all 5. I am reading this post from the server room. There is a weird smell.
[ Reply | Report ]
March 5, 2001 at 11:45 AM
Mike please leave the server room. We are on our way. The assessment will be $499. The server will be $2,400. Please open the windows if you can. We are bringing Brenda who is good with these situations. She will fix it in 45 seconds but we will bill for 4 hours. See you soon.
[ Reply | Report ]
March 8, 2001 at 2:14 PM
Dwayne came out and told us we needed a new server. We bought a new one from him for $2,400. It is also making a grinding noise. He said this was fine.
[ Reply | Report ]
March 10, 2001 at 10:03 AM
Janet — the grinding noise on your new server is a DIFFERENT grinding noise. That is the sound of a healthy hard drive actively seeking data. It is completely normal and also a feature. If you are concerned we can do a follow-up assessment at our standard rate of $350/hr with a 2-hour minimum.
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