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📅 Posted: June 19, 2001  |  📁 Company News, Important Notice, Please Read  |  💬 27 Comments

DAVE IS NO LONGER OUR CTO
(Effective Immediately. No Further Questions Please.)

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By: Dwayne Krupczak, Senior IT Technician & Blog Manager & Now Also CTO Again
MCSE* | CompTIA A+ (in progress) | Webmaster | Currently Fine
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⚠️ OFFICIAL NOTICE: This post contains important information regarding changes to the leadership structure of Suck IT Consulting. Please read carefully. Then please stop asking Dwayne about it in person.

I am writing to inform all clients, partners, and readers of this blog that Dave is no longer the Chief Technology Officer of Suck IT Consulting, effective as of this morning.

I cannot go into details. There are legal reasons for this. I have engaged counsel. Counsel is my uncle Gerald who is a real estate attorney but he says the principle is the same.

What I can tell you is the following:

  • Dave is no longer affiliated with Suck IT Consulting in any capacity
  • Dave does not have access to our systems (we are working on revoking this, IT is on it, IT is Dwayne, Dwayne is very busy)
  • Dave's email address dave@suckitconsulting.com has been deactivated (we are trying to deactivate it)
  • The Azure credits situation is being handled
  • The server room is fine (it is fine)
  • Please do not contact Dave directly
  • Please do not give Dave any login credentials, system access, or money
  • If Dave contacts you claiming to be the CTO of Suck IT Consulting, he is not

Dwayne Krupczak is the only CTO of Suck IT Consulting. Dwayne has always been the CTO. There was a brief period from June 12th to June 19th during which there was also a Dave, but that period is over now and we do not need to dwell on it.

Going forward, Brenda will be resuming her previous responsibilities. Brenda said "I told you so" when she heard the news. We appreciate Brenda's perspective and have noted it in our records.

⚠️ URGENT — PLEASE READ: If you have received any emails from dave@suckitconsulting.com in the past week, please do not click any links in those emails. Also if Dave asked you for your QuickBooks login, please change your password and call us immediately for a Security Assessment. The assessment is $299. We will also need to know what you gave him. No judgment.

We appreciate your patience and continued business during this transition. Please know that Suck IT Consulting remains fully operational and committed to providing the same level of service you have come to expect from us (4–6 week response time, 2-hour on-site minimum, checks only).

Thank you. Please do not ask about Dave.

— Dwayne K., Senior IT Technician and CTO (restored), Paramus NJ, June 19, 2001

🏷️ TAGS:
Davenot Davecompany newslegalNDAAzureplease do not askBrenda was rightthe server room is fine
◀ PREV: Introducing Dave NEXT: My Trip to the Staples ▶
👤 ABOUT THE AUTHOR
🧔
Dwayne Krupczak is the Senior IT Technician, Head Blogger, Webmaster, and now again CTO at Suck IT Consulting. He is fine. Everything is fine. Please stop emailing him about Dave.

*Certification pending. He passed 6 of 7 modules. The 7th one is "hard." Dave did not help with the 7th module. This is unrelated.
💬 27 COMMENTS
🧑 Local_Biz_Carol June 19, 2001 at 10:44 AM
What happened to Dave?? He seemed so promising. He emailed me about a "cloud migration opportunity." Should I have replied?
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🧔 Dwayne K. AUTHOR June 19, 2001 at 11:02 AM
Carol please do not ask about Dave. Re: the cloud migration email — did you reply? If so, please call us immediately. Security Assessment is $299. Also please do not click any links in that email. Was there an attachment? Please do not open the attachment.
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🧑 AnonymousUser June 19, 2001 at 12:17 PM
Is this about the server room? I heard there was an incident in the server room.
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🧔 Dwayne K. AUTHOR June 19, 2001 at 12:31 PM
I am not able to discuss the server room. The server room is fine. There was no incident. Whatever you heard is inaccurate. Who did you hear this from. Please email me privately, not in the blog comments.
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🙍 LindasFromAccounting June 19, 2001 at 2:55 PM
Dave emailed me and asked for our QuickBooks login and I gave it to him. He said it was for the "strategic financial integration initiative." Was that wrong? Also he is coming in on Thursday to do a "systems audit." Should I let him in?
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🧔 Dwayne K. AUTHOR June 19, 2001 at 3:04 PM
LINDA PLEASE CALL US IMMEDIATELY. Change your QuickBooks password RIGHT NOW. Do not let Dave in on Thursday. Do not open the door. If he is already in the building, please ask Gary downstairs to call someone. We are dispatching Brenda. She will be there in 20 minutes. This is billed at emergency rate $350/hr. We are very sorry about Dave. This is partially our fault. Mostly Dave's fault.
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🧑 TechGuru2003 June 20, 2001 at 9:08 AM
Dave called me and said he was conducting a "cloud migration" for Suck IT Consulting and needed access to my network. I said okay. He was there for three hours. Things seem different now.
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🧔 Dwayne K. AUTHOR June 20, 2001 at 10:22 AM
There is no cloud migration. There was never a cloud migration. Dave does not know what a cloud migration is, honestly neither do I, it is a new concept. Please change all of your passwords. We offer a Full Network Security Remediation package for $899. We strongly recommend it. We are very sorry. Please do not leave a bad review. We are handling it.
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